Extramarital affairs are still considered as an evil in our society compared to the western culture. Although it is no more a taboo in the metropolitan cities in India but in small towns and villages, it is still not accepted well. As the time is passing the people around are getting engaged into the extra-marital affairs regardless of their socioeconomic status or geographic locations. But the question here is why people are getting more and more involved into the out of the marriage relationship? Read here the actual reasons behind the extramarital affairs.
[su_expand more_text=”READ MORE” less_text=” ” height=”0″ hide_less=”yes” link_style=”button” link_align=”center”]According to the original article published in the Huffington Post India by Nischala Murthy Kaushik, there are 12 reasons behind the existence of an extramarital affair regardless of the socioeconomic background or location. When people seek the love and sexual relationship outside their nuptial ties that means there are genuine reasons behind it, let’s take a look at those 12 reasons behind the so-called infidelity.
REASON 1 – EARLY MARRIAGE
According to the author, people who get married in their early twenties are more prone to getting attracted towards the extramarital affair due to their unfulfilled desires. The author claims that those who marry in their early 20s are likely to achieve the social standing and stability in their mid-30s. At that point, they start feeling that they did not enjoy well in their 20s and find it exciting to get indulged into an extramarital affair. The author says that It is the way they try to experience the thrill and excitement of a dating.
REASON 2 – MARRIED FOR THE WRONG REASONS
All the marriages are not the part of a fairy tales and there are cases people enter into the relationship for wrong reasons and repent on it later on. According to the author the social and family pressure are the two most visible reasons in our country that leads to force the couple into getting married. In many cases, people agree to get married without even getting to know each other well but once the deed is done, they realize the mistake they have made in terms of the choice of their life partner. If they meet someone who is in any way a better match than their current spouse, they are immediately attracted to him/her. And what starts as a simple friendship usually ends up in an affair.
REASON 3 – INABILITY TO DEAL WITH CHANGES
The above two reasons mainly deal with the premature relationship between the two which leads them to enter into the act of infidelity but this reason deals more with the immaturity and ignorance. According to the author, Life is ever changing and nothing remains eternal and many knows how to deal with the same but then everybody cannot be the same. Some people find it difficult to handle it. The Author claims that the small changes are dealt by people easily while the bigger changes such as a serious illness in the family, death, loss of employment, financial loss, etc. result into drifting the people apart from their spouses. They find more comfort in the arms of someone new, perhaps someone not connected to their tough circumstances in any way.
REASON 4 – BECOMING THE PARENTS
The love and excitement diminish as the children enter into the life of the couple. The author says that, once the couple becomes parents everything changes into the husband-wife relationship. Their priorities changes and they cannot give more time to each other due to the children. This again results into the further reducing of the living environment drastically. The author says, while most women give their 200% to being mothers, I know of several men who suddenly feel lost and unimportant at home, and indulge in extramarital affairs. And since most women are usually so busy being mothers, they probably don’t even realize this for a long time.
REASON 5 – PHYSICAL DISSATISFACTION
This could be one of the major reasons behind the break in the relationship. According to the author, this is one of the most common reasons due to which the people get involved into the extramarital affairs.
REASON 6 – EMOTIONAL DISCONNECT
All the relationships basically rely on the emotional involvement of two people. When two people enter into the relationship they obviously get involved emotionally with each other. But the lack of time for each other disconnects the people resulting in the emotional detachment. According to the author the couples who get emotionally disconnected from each other are due to the lack of time and lack of communication with each other. To be emotionally connected, you need to share, you need to talk, you need to express, you need to listen, you need to laugh, you need to care and show that you care. If you don’t do this, over a period of time, chances are you will get emotionally disconnected from each other as a couple and start getting emotionally connected with someone else. What starts out as an emotional bond with someone can eventually lead to an extramarital affair.
REASON 7 – DISAGREEMENTS ON CORE VALUES
Another prominent reason is the disagreement with each other over the various issues. According to the author the core values comes to test when people face the adverse situation in the life and the decision that you take might not look pleasant to your family, especially your spouse. Sometimes this could be the cause for irreconcilable differences, which triggers an extramarital affair.
REASON 8 – DIFFERING LIFE PRIORITIES
There are hundreds of things in our life that can be our priority and these priorities can change depending on person to person. According to the author when two people get married they always do not discuss their priorities with each other since they feel that it is not of much importance and many times people are not clear about it. But with time, the priorities start getting into the way sometimes more pronounced, and increasingly divergent and over time, these become so different that it becomes tough to live together and agree on even basic things on a daily basis. This can be a catalyst for an extramarital affair. Some people get into a relationship simply because they believe it can advance their career.
REASON 9 – NO COMMON INTERESTS
Just because you got married to someone does not mean that we always share the common interest with the partner. It needs to be a courtship that starts with long-standing friendship then perhaps the level understanding grows amongst the couple. According to the author if the couple has nothing in common with each other then they’ll eventually get absorbed in pursuing their own divergent interests. They will end up not spending enough time together. The author feels that as you spend time away from each other, you get opportunities to interact with others. And gradually start building a bond with those who share your interests. Many times this leads to an extramarital affair.
REASON 10 – NEED FOR EXCITEMENT
The existence of an excitement creates the spark in the life of a couple. It takes all the boredom away and breaks the monotony. When the couple starts losing the excitement due to various reasons mentioned above in this article, the life becomes boring and stagnant that leads the partners to seek that excitement outside their marital life and according to the author this is one the reason behind the extramarital affair. People get into the relationship just for fun, for a change or for some excitement.
REASON 11 – PERSONAL FINANCES
According to the author the financial matters can be one of the reasons behind people entering into the extramarital affairs. She claims that excessive debt and liabilities or lack of an agreement on personal financial management can sometimes be the trigger for constant bickering within the four walls. And at such a vulnerable time, anyone who gives a hearing to your woes or some financial support is welcome. And this can lead to an extramarital affair.
REASON 12 – CAREER ADVANCEMENT
when people fall in love or get into the relationships at an early age at that time for many of them the advancement in career does not remains priority and according to the author many get into the relationship just because they start believing that getting into the relationship will advance their career, it is sad but true claims the author. While these are the broad reasons, usually it is a combination of many of these which drive people into an extramarital affair. All said and done, it is tough to see a couple go through the stress of an extramarital affair. Relationships are broken, children are affected. There could be lifelong issues with guilt and trust. It’s not an easy situation for anyone.
Although the 12 most sought after reasons are mentioned herein in the article but these alone are not everything that leads to an extramarital affair. According to me, there are more reasons which differ from the person to person and place to place. If you have known of any other reasons besides these, please do share the same with us over here.
Source: Huffington Post India
The original story was written by Nischala Murthy Kaushik in Huffington post in the year 2015.